Coming Home to Myself
After TED, I was all out of whack. And all my old strategies weren't working. I've done a lot (like a TON) of personal growth in the last few years. And I've learned many times over, that after a period of expansion, comes contraction.
Whether that's a lot of positive growth from a retreat experience, or even more negative growth like negotiating a toxic relationship, the after effect is ALWAYS there. The week or so afterwards I feel unanchored, listless, apathetic, and mostly just exhausted.
In the past, I had a list of strategies I've employed to get grounded again. But after my recent (VERY positive) experience of giving a TEDx talk, I just couldn't find my groove again. The old ways were not working and the struggle was REAL.
I'm happy to say that I'm starting this week grounded, centered, and at home with myself again. In case you ever have a similar experience, I'd like to share what I learned.
1. Give myself even more grace. In cases of HUGE expansion, my anchor point has moved. I am a new person, so my centering has to happen in a new space. And that space takes time to find. Allow myself the extra time.
2. Re-centering in this scenario took ALL of my senses. It wasn't enough to meditate, journal, nap, go for walks, debrief with trusted friends, etc. This time I literally had to leave town, get into nature, breathe the new air, see the new views, listen to the bald eagle wings, be enveloped in meadow and sky, even taste new food.
3. In those new experiences, I realized that I am a new version of myself. Not vastly different than a month ago, but different enough. I needed to recognize it and breathe into the new space. At first it was as disconcerting as living in a new home. Exciting but also wondering if I'd crack my toe when I got up to pee in the middle of the night. You get what I'm saying right??
Are you similar to me, in that you crave growth? Do you find yourself reaching for the next version of yourself? If you are, don't be surprised when you feel as though you've become un-anchored when you get there. It can easily feel like a negative consequence of growth, when in reality it's simply an invitation to allow your soul to fill out the new space.
If you have someone in your life that might be experiencing this, will you tag them here? It can be so helpful to know the weird way we're feeling, isn't actually so weird.
Have a wonderful week!